bkmn: random thoughts from beakman

apparently my brain has a pattern...

2005-11-02T13:20:00.000-05:00

And all this time I thought it looked like a ball of gray worms. Or cauliflower.

My Brain's Pattern

My mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.

I'm always making pictures in my mind, especially when I'm bored.

I am easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.

And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

doesn't anyone in africa or antarctica love me?

2005-11-02T00:48:00.000-05:00

All right. Time to issue a blog challenge. According to my sitemeter, I've had visitors from every continent other than Africa and Antarctica. So, let's all make use of our seven degrees of separation and find someone on these fine continents to visit me.

Africa shouldn't be that tough. I just KNOW that one of you knows someone who knows someone who knows someone over there. Antarctica, on the other hand, will be a bit more difficult. I don't even know if they have internet access there. I just jumped right in and posted this without googling that point.

Why should any of you care? Simple: fame (very limited) and fortune (also very limited). Whoever manages to arrange a visit from Africa will receive mention on this very blog (exciting shit, eh?) and an authentic trinket from Africa, of which I have several and will give you your choice.

Now, the grand arranger of an Antarctic visit will receive a mighty fine beakman (THIS one, not that science guy) T-shirt, the design of which is in process. The winner will be pleased to know that actually wearing the damn thing is NOT REQUIRED.

So email this post around and please mention it on your own, far-finer blog.

And now... a totally unrelated quote:

"No one who ever bought a drill wanted a drill. They wanted a hole."

just what type of movements did it detect?

2005-11-02T00:11:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, good ol' American ingenuity. Yes, this device was actually used. In case you can't read the placard:

"Dog Doo" Transmitter

Dropped along the Ho Chi Minh Trail by air, this device transmitted a warning when supply movements occurred during the night. The signals were monitored by a variety of agencies, including the CIA.

wedgies: another high-brow post

2005-11-01T23:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be an erotic site or a humor site. That's a thinly veiled way of saying I don't know if I'm supposed to be turned on or amused. Either way, a round of applause for the creator. Now THAT'S goooooood internet!

Leather pants. 'nuff said.

2005-10-28T10:31:00.000-04:00

Ebay is far more than a marketplace. It is a never-ending fountain of entertainment. For your review, the following listing.

DK Leather Pants

The comments on this item are more than a little amusing.

This could just have easily been the parachute pants I had in the mid 80's. Never wore them. Not ONCE. I don't know how I even ended up with them. Come to think of it, I don't know whatever happened to them, either. I can only hope they went in the garbage and didn't get donated to the Goodwill. Passing that horror on to another owner would be oh-too-tragic.

Gee. Who'd have guessed with THAT photo?

2005-10-28T09:30:00.000-04:00

Oooooo..... a 2-photo post. You must all feel so special.

Well, I bet Captain Kirk would not have taken this well.

George Takei, best known as Sulu from the original Star Trek, has publicly announced he is gay in Frontier, a bi-weekly (oh, it just HAD to be a BI-weekly, didn't it?) Los Angeles magazine covering the gay and lesbian scene.

Be honest, now. Didn't you always suspect that possibility?

But, hey, kudos to Star Trek. That's one more notch in the ol' diversity belt. Did you realize Star Trek featured the first white/black interracial kiss? Not to mention all the interspecies action Kirk always got. That man's mouth must have been like an intergalactic bacteria farm. I would imagine the Federation kept him in isolation for a good while everytime he came back to port. I'm sure they heard about the happenings pertaining to the captain's log.

alright, you can shut up now! ;)

2005-10-13T10:55:00.000-04:00

OK, so I've been outta the loop lately. I'm posting again right now.

Are ya happy, twinkie? What about you, zoddy?

I know nothing else at the moment.

Oh, yeah. Visit http://www.reliefdonations.org and pick a charity (or two, or three or a bunch) to donate to. Our hurricane situation here in North America doesn't seem nearly so bad when compared to the nightmare in Asian earthquake areas. So help out the relief organizations.

the power of 6

2005-09-14T23:00:00.000-04:00

I love 6. It's wonderful. All thing work as they should through 6.

"What the hell is he talking about?"

Power level 6 on my microwave and burner setting 6 on my stove.

Everything comes out perfect on six: grilled cheese, sausage, frozen gyro's, quesadillas, bacon, eggs... you name it.

Oh, if only everything could be mastered so simply and succinctly.

6: Learn it. Live it. Love it.

natalie's diggin' it...

2005-09-09T15:43:00.000-04:00

OK, so I found Jolly Green Julie's blog via Twinkie's blog today, and since Julie had such a lovely post about Jessica Simpson, I thought I'd share this with you all in that same spirit. I left a comment some time ago about this pic on Twinkie's blog, but why should she get all the blog traffic?

See, even movie stars like Natalie Portman get undie-creep.

Can I give you a hand with that, Natalie? ;)

yowch! (but they deserve it)

2005-09-07T02:27:00.000-04:00

Only from South Africa could (and should) such a device emerge:

The anti-rape female condom, known commercially as Rapex.

Nope. Not a joke.

What is it, exactly? Well, check out the link for details, but essentially it's a portable pussy porcupine, to put it in indelicate alliteration terms. It's a sheath which contains painful barbs which implant themselves into any invading... um, er... member. The theory is this will cause MUCH pain (I don't think that theory will need proving), giving the victim time to escape. Also, it apparently requires surgical removal, but causes no long-term damage. If you ask me, long-term damage should be guaranteed, rather than avoided.

What deplorable social condition have precipitated such a device's invention? Why, only the world's highest highest reported rape rate per capita: about 1 in 840. Don't forget that "capita" includes males, so if you rule them out, it's really about 1 in 420 or so. That's only the REPORTED rapes. Experts estimate the actual rate could be as much as NINE TIMES HIGHER, which could theoretically put the rate at 1 in 46. Crikey. What a wonderful world.

bon voyage, gilligan...

2005-09-07T01:21:00.000-04:00

Well, another piece of TV history is off to the vaults. Actor Bob Denver, of Gilligan's Island fame, passed away Friday, September 2.

So now it's time for useless trivia!

Q: What was Gilligan's full name on the series?
A: Willie Gilligan

Q: What was the Skipper's full name on the series?
A: Jonas Grumby

Q: What was the show's original pilot's title?
A: Gilligan's Island: Marooned

Ha! I used up some of your gray matter, and you'll never get it back!

i'm a lazy bastard...

2005-09-04T15:54:00.000-04:00

Well, let's see. We woke up about 11:30 am Saturday. We went over the chapter for 5-8 weeks in What to Expect When You're Expecting. They we made minimum efforts to put ourselves together and hit the Shoney's breakfast bar. After making a quick stop at Kroger, we headed home, where we both fell victim to an attack of the naps at about 3:30 pm. Funky didn't get hit too hard, but I didn't wake up until 8:30 pm. Pitiful.

On the plus side, we were both rested enough to watch Godsend. Pretty good movie with a somewhat crappy ending. Don't get me wrong -- I liked it, it was just left open-ended. If you're not sure you're going to do a sequel, wrap the damn story up!

We flipped around after that (since our high-speed wireless was down AGAIN), both played some solitaire on the laptops and then Funky went back to bed. Myself? Well of course I stayed up until dawn, and watched the sunrise while Neil Young's musical film Greendale played on the TV. The grand finale of the movie played just as the sun came up. Not a bad morning...

Of course, then I went back to bed until noon Sunday! Hell yeah!

fats domino

2005-09-02T14:28:00.000-04:00

If you hadn't heard, Fats Domino was missing in the New Orleans flood. Naturally, in the grand scheme of things, he's no more important than anyone else that's trapped down there, but quite a few people have been mentioning that he's been missing. So here's the skinny: he's alive and rescued, as evidenced by this photo from which he was identified by his daughter. Other than that, who knows where he is or if he's really OK.

and now something useful...

2005-09-02T14:12:00.000-04:00

I hate doing laundry. Every step. I hate taking the clothes to the laundry room. I hate sorting them. I hate switching the clothes from the washer to the dryer.

But I especially hate folding and hanging.

I know you're all with me on this. It's OK to admit it. So what am I going to do about it? Provide you with this useful video to speed and aesthetically improve your shirt folding.

Now you can't say I never did anything for you.

still a fresh twinkie...

2005-09-01T21:59:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday, Twinkie!

You're older than me now. For a while, anyway. I hope you get your favorite present: a creamy filling!

Oh, I just slay myself!

blogspot & flickr hell

2005-09-01T19:04:00.000-04:00

Well, I managed to not get a post up yesterday, because I spent God-only-knows how long trying to fix my template. Talk about a meltdown.

I finally got new graphics done to update the look, so I uploaded them to Flickr. I then went (painstakingly) through my template code replacing all the graphics links. Once the preview looked good, I hit the save button.

Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Then it finally said it was done, so I hit ye olde "view blog" link and voila! Nothing but the background.

WTF?!?!?

I go back and look at my template code, and the problem is apparent: only about the first 40 lines are there. An incomplete upload. Lovely. Naturally, it was the first time since I started monkeying with the template that I didn't save a copy on my laptop. So I had to go back the previous version and re-link everything and re-tweak everything. I finally got it all done a little after midnight.

Then the image links didn't work this morning. Freakn Flickr! So now the images are relinked and everything looks right again. For now.

lost?

2005-08-30T21:57:00.000-04:00

Maybe this pic will help. It is the first photo of the earth taken from the surface of another planet (namely Mars, and not counting the moon). It was taken by the Mars Exploration Rover Spirit. Worth posting? Well, I think so, but I'm a geek.

Gotta love the rovers. The ultimate remote control vehicles. Sweet.

hurricane katrina...

2005-08-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

What can be said. I wish I was already trained in search and rescue and could go help. But there's one thing we all can do: donate to the Red Cross. To double your donation, visit your local Lowe's Home Improvement Center. They have pledged to match all customer donations up to $1 million.

Next, go out and get yourself some useful training, like CPR and first aid. The Red Cross offers classes like these all over the United States. Classes are even offered on weekends and in the evening, so no whinin' about "I've got a job and can't take a class". No matter where you live, some sort of natural disaster or accident can happen, so prepare yourself. Maybe you'll save someone.

kill bill...

2005-08-29T23:22:00.000-04:00

Here I sit, watching Kill Bill: Vol. 2 for the billionth time. I can't help it. I can watch the Kill Bills over and over (and have been) without getting tired of them at all. I love me some David Carradine & Uma.

Homer sez: Mmmm...... Uuuuummmmmaaaa...... {NSFW}

New Orleans: damn it!

2005-08-28T22:15:00.000-04:00

Well, damn it. It looks as though I may have put off going to the Big Easy a little too long. By daybreak I think a good portion of it will be in a sorry state, courtesy of Katrina. That bitch!

If my procrastination wasn't bad enough, we've been considering doing a multi-stop vacation this fall which may have included New Orleans (well, I hadn't really discussed that stop with the rest of the family unit, but it had occurred to me). With only a month and a half until fall break, I think it's safe to say "nevermind".

To add insult to injury, Katrina's current projected path aligns her for a near-perfect head-on collision with our house. Of course she'll be considerably weaker at that point, but since she's currently a Category 5 she could still pack a considerable wallop when she shows up. We could definitely use the rain, but not the wind. I'm not going to complain, though. Those on the Gulf Coast will have it a lot worse that us no matter how it goes. Go ahead and visit the Red Cross and make a donation, folks. This one's gonna be big. And expensive.

hackin' ain't just for computers anymore...

2005-08-26T11:08:00.000-04:00

Actually, it never was just for computers. Ever since I was a kid I have disassembled, hodge-podged and slapped together everything from toys to clocks to bikes to cars & trucks to... well, you get the idea.

Now, at long last, there is a publication that caters to weirdos such as myself: MAKE. It covers everything from embedding a MacMini in your VW to rigging cameras on kites for low-budget aerial photography to home-built backyard monorails. Geek heaven!

When is a magazine worth $15? When it's MAKE. Never has a publication inspired me to spend more money and time on useless but nonetheless entertaining things. If this publication looks even halfway entertaining to you, subscribe! It would be a shame to see this mag not make it due to financial reasons.

Sure, they could have just launched a website, but there's just something about having a physical publication to flip through. It won't be long 'til some of these contraptions and projects start showing up here.

boat buildin' and other enormous projects

2005-08-25T14:19:00.000-04:00

Well, being a professional tinkerer/hacker/jack-of-all-trades, I've wanted for some time to build a boat. Naturally, I'd love to just jump in and start some colossal wood craft, but lack of financing and workspace prohibit that!

That's where Uncle John's Classic Cajun Pirogue kit comes in. It's simple. It's cheap. It actually looks pretty damn good. Best of all, my daughter Z said she'd like to help build it. So I guess our winter project is all lined up for this year. Progress will, of course, be charted here and/or a project-specific blog.

Now if only a truly cheap kit plane could be had. But I suppose flight instruction and a pilot's license might be in order first. At least they finally passed a new sport pilot certificate requiring less instruction (and therefore expense) which limits the pilot to only smaller, slower, 2-seater aircraft. I'm in, baby! Well, when the wallet says I can, anyway.

oh, quitcher cryin'! I finally got around to posting again.

2005-08-24T18:48:00.000-04:00

For someone who is ALWAYS online, I have no idea why I find it so difficult to get around to posting. Maybe it's the general dissatisfaction and depression of having to deal with my main freelance client. Maybe it's my AADD (adult attention deficit disorder). Maybe I'm a lazy bastard. Hmm... I think I'm zeroing in on it...

Anyway...

Some good news! Funky (the other half) is pregnant! Found out midnight Saturday, which is probably pretty close to the time that the illustrious Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's earthly remains were launched towards the heavens courtesy of some enormous fireworks shells created by the Zambelli folks.

Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Is it a they? Who knows! We're only at 4 or 5 weeks.

furst post

2005-06-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

Well, this could really run off the tracks. I guess we'll see!